Teenage pregnancy

One of the most common needs of the teenager who suspects she is pregnant is to have the pregnancy confirmed by a pregnancy test. A positive result often places the girl in a state of shock. For many, the greatest need at this sensitive time is to have the opportunity to discuss their problems.

It is quite normal for a woman to become depressed when she realises she is pregnant and this can be particularly severe when the woman is young and single.

It is during this crisis time that she is in need of much empathy, understanding and help to think calmly. Her depression is usually at its peak around the 10th week of pregnancy, and unfortunately this is also the time when she feels least able to resist the pressures placed upon her to have an abortion. This decision could not be made at a worse time as the depression soon passes and is often followed at around 12 weeks by a strong, genuine and positive feeling of acceptance.

The pregnant teenager must be allowed to express her feelings, ie how she feels about children, her relationships with her boyfriend, her future studies or her career opportunities. She may feel that these problems are insurmountable, however an indepth discussion of these can usually reduce the most urgent problems to only one or two main areas.

Often, when faced with an unplanned pregnancy, a great deal of pressure is placed on the young woman to have an abortion. This pressure may come from her boyfriend, parents, peers, well-meaning family friends, doctors, counsellors and the general attitudes of our modern-day society. Abortion is often seen as an easy answer to an unplanned pregnancy.

A problem as large as this one has been likened to being locked away for some time, alone in a dark room, with no way out, and then someone opens a door and light floods in. We run to the door and lean on the arm of the person standing there, and trust them to lead us out of it. The problem is increased if the person opening the door leads us on the wrong path.

The young single pregnant girl has to face the very real problem of rejection, if not by everyone, at least by some of the important people in her life. She may be rejected by her parents, her boyfriend, her employer or her school friends. Our experience, on the whole, is that parents do not reject their pregnant daughters, in fact once they have recovered from the initial shock they tend to stand by her and make it easy for her to stay at home. This is easier now because of a more tolerant social acceptance of this situation. However, there is no doubt the pregnancy will involve a change in lifestyle.

Some are able to continue in their employment, others prefer to leave work before they begin to ‘show’ to prevent workmates from knowing about the pregnancy.

For the pregnant schoolgirl there is always some disruption of her education. Some classmates are quite understanding and are only too happy to help the pregnant schoolgirl continue with her education. ‘Louise Place’ at Fullarton, a church run establishment to support distressed young women, is willing to take pregnant day students at its fully registered high school.

One of the most difficult tasks of the single pregnant girl is initially that of telling her parents and/or boyfriend. Support at this time is essential to help her work out the best approach from now on.

There is no legal compulsion on her to name the father of the child, but decisions must be made and she may look to the father of the child to help her in the decision-making process. Sometimes she hopes the pregnancy will give her a hold on the father, sometimes she fears it may be the end of their relationship. The father of the baby has no legal rights in the decision of whether the woman carries the baby to term.

If she decides to have an abortion the father may want to keep the baby and he may suffer a great deal of grief that may not come to the surface for a long time, if ever. The grief may manifest itself through his attitudes or in behaviour problems.

It is important to remember that when an adolescent girl becomes pregnant the father is usually an adolescent boy and he has needs which must be expressed also.

In a recent study most of the men questioned admitted to feelings of anger towards the woman who aborted his child. They often fantasised about hurting or killing the woman involved. It is interesting to note that these men felt this way whether or not they were involved in the decision to abort. The future implications of these feelings are enormous.

Parental reactions do vary, but almost always there is a feeling of shock and bewilderment followed by feelings of guilt - "where did we go wrong?’ and sometimes anger. If a girl is having difficulty in telling her parents it is helpful for her to talk to someone about the way parents often react so that she may be prepared for this when planning to communicate the news.

The girl herself may feel guilty about being pregnant and search wildly for a way out. Abortion may be thought of as a means of getting rid of her problem.

The single pregnant young woman has a number of alternatives available to her if for any reason she is unable to stay at home with her parents. She can share a flat with a friend and receive rent relief is she is unemployed, perhaps she can stay with a relative or live at ‘Louise Place’. All the support, information and medical advice needed will be given to her there, plus the opportunity to share her experiences and feelings with other girls in similar circumstances.

There are several avenues of financial help available through social benefits. As these areas are constantly under review it is best to contact the government agency direct to find out the supporting benefits applicable.

It is very important that a young woman receives all the support, information and assistance she can get when she finds out she is expecting a baby. She must know her options, she must be allowed time to think very carefully about the decision she may have to make, since she now has not only her own future but also that of her baby to consider. She needs love and acceptance for who she is and needs to know that there will be someone who will be there to support her when she needs it.

The young woman does not need someone to solve her problem, she needs someone who can look at her situation, draw together her resources and encourage her as an individual to make her own decisions.

Being a young single mother does not destine a girl to doom and gloom as we so often hear. She usually makes a very good mother and discovers much about herself and life that she would not have realised if she had not gone through with her pregnancy, plus she now has the opportunity to share love with another person.